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10
Becoming a witness to the events around us and using them for learning, we
can communicate effectively, and we begin to listen well.
If we think ourselves as important, do we see others as less important?
When we can remove the idea of self importance, we are free to be equal.
Free to respect decisions made by others, free to be peacemakers in this world.
When our being is free from self importance we can observe and deal with our
surroundings with the love that resides within us.
The Desire of Our Hearts
So often we get what we ask for, yet when we ask we are not fully aware of what the
request entails.
Desiring a baby for example.
Are we prepared for what that involves, of course not but we learn as we go along that it is
not an easy task.
We are adaptable creatures, therefore we mould into the role that we have chosen to play.
But do we do it well?
I have a lot to be grateful for the existence of my children, they have been the tools that
have taught me to be a better parent, they have bought to my attention the fact that I am
their equal. Before waking up to this fact I dealt with them quite differently.
Testimony:
I have four children, two girls two boys, if you are a parent you will realise that they play
off each other for attention, I call this seeking to be filled (to puff their ego).
Maybe you remember this feeling when you did this in your own family growing up,
Feeling quite pleased with yourself when you managed to get your siblings told off by your
parents or guardians.
There was a particular day that I remember learning a new approach, I was at a neighbours
house catching up with the latest when my youngest son came to report to me that his
brother was teasing him and refusing to let him use my mobile.
Normally I would have excused myself and gone to my older son to tell him off and get the
phone off him to give to my younger son.
What was I teaching my boys in this behaviour?
Well I would be teaching the younger one that I am his saviour, and that he gets results
when he runs to mum.
The older boy would see that my intimidation gets results and that if he was irritating
enough he would get my attention too.
I quickly realised something had to change and that change was to start with me.
I paused as my youngest son reported to me, I began to speak, well, I said, you have three
options:
1.
Go back to the house and fight with your brother until you get the phone.
2.
Go back and wait till he sees that his behaviour has no affect on you and when he
gets bored with teasing you, pick up the phone and use it.
3.
Go to the local shops and use the phone box.
Something had changed in all three of us that day, I became a better parent but more
importantly I taught my youngest son that he has choices and that he holds the power of
making decisions on his own.
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